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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23359060">When you’re here loving me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarfette/pseuds/lovesnarf'>lovesnarf (snarfette)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Perfect Match, Perfect Somehow [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, M/M, based on episode 7x08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:48:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23359060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarfette/pseuds/lovesnarf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking down, he saw Kelly’s eyes staring up at him. He knew what was running through Kelly’s mind - that the situation was hopeless, that they were running out of time and options, that this was it. <br/>Matt grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, hoping that Kelly would feel it through his turn-out gear. He needed him to hear the silent message: ‘I’m not giving up on you’. He needed Kelly to hold on: ‘Don’t you dare give up,’ he told him with his eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Perfect Match, Perfect Somehow [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1293542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When you’re here loving me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was recommended a clip from episode 7x08 on YouTube and it made this little fic idea pop into my head. So Kelly still gets trapped but it’s Matt who’s the concerned partner.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt had practically flown up the stairs of the burning house when he’d been given the go-ahead by the Chief. Those few moments of waiting to be told to move had been almost unbearable. He wasn’t sure he’d have been able to stay outside even if Boden had ordered him to: not with Kelly trapped inside. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He’d heard Cruz yelling Severide’s name and he’d just known - he’d known that something terrible had happened. That it was bad. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When they’d made it up the stairs, he’d been relieved to see that Kelly was at least able to talk and not surprised when he’d heard him yelling that the victim was behind Cruz. Even with his own life in danger, Severide could never stop doing his job.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And now he was desperately working with Cruz to free Kelly. It seemed hopeless but he wasn’t giving up. He wouldn’t give up on any of the crew - never. But it was Kelly that was trapped - the man he loved - and he would do whatever it took to get him out, get him to safety. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">From the corner of his eye, he saw Hermann approaching the bedroom. He couldn’t allow him to enter the room - the situation was already too precarious, the floor too unstable. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, don’t come in the room!” he yelled.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hermann understood immediately and started the hose from his position just outside the room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The high-pitched alert of Severide’s air monitor caught Casey’s attention. He glanced back down at Severide as Cruz called out. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“He’s low on air!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly’s usual stubbornness immediately kicked in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t worry about it - just keep working.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Somehow it made Matt feel better: knowing that Kelly was still giving out orders; still getting frustrated that a rescue wasn’t going how he wanted it to, even when he was the one needing to be rescued. He’d already been yelling at them about what they should be doing and where to put the air-bags and, in any other situation, Matt might have rolled his eyes at his bossiness or his inability to let anyone else make a decision, but this was too serious. Things were too precarious. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And the next thing he heard filled him with dread. The creaking of the structure all around them was a sure sign that they were running out of time - that Kelly was running out of time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hermann! Hermann! Cut the water!” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He quickly relayed that they couldn’t carry on like they were and sent Hermann away from the scene. He’d left the line but Casey wasn’t sure how it was going to make any difference. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Capp! Tony! You too. Get outta here!” he ordered. He knew they couldn’t afford to have too many people in the room anymore. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He saw the reluctance in their reactions - they didn’t want to leave their lieutenant, but they knew the score; they knew they couldn’t stay. Nothing they could do would help now. He argued as Tony took off his own mask to give it to Severide, but he knew there was no discussion to be had. The loyalty of the team to their lieutenant was unrivalled. And deep down, he was grateful. Grateful that Tony had made the sacrifice if it bought Kelly some time, if it gave him precious oxygen that he was rapidly running out of. He couldn’t just stand there and watch as Kelly suffocated on choking black smoke.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Carefully, he removed Kelly’s mask and switched it for Tony’s equipment, wincing in sympathy as Kelly groaned out in discomfort. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hang in there,” he said as calmly as he could. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Looking down, he saw Kelly’s eyes staring up at him. He knew what was running through Kelly’s mind - that the situation was hopeless, that they were running out of time and options, that this was it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, hoping that Kelly would feel it through his turn-out gear. He needed him to hear the silent message: ‘I’m not giving up on you’. He needed Kelly to hold on: ‘Don’t you dare give up,’ he told him with his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Once he’d secured the mask over Kelly’s face, he called out to him. “Hey, you still with me?” His heart was pounding as it took a moment for Kelly to respond. Things were getting desperate and Kelly was struggling. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah,” Kelly grunted. “Just get me out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt could tell that he was weakening. It was impossible to know what injuries Kelly had from the chimney falling onto him and he’d been pinned for too long as far as Matt was concerned. Time was running out. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He yelled to Cruz to start attempting to use the airbags to raise the chimney again. It had been mere moments when the dreadful creaking and groaning of the floor beneath their feet started again and Matt waved his hands at him to stop. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">They couldn’t carry on. The only plan they had wasn’t working. If they tried to lift the chimney, it would break through the floorboards. If they didn’t try, Kelly would be trapped when the whole building was engulfed in flames. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt looked down at Kelly. He could see him slowly blinking up at him. He looked like he was struggling to remain conscious, but his eyes locked on Matt’s through their visors. There was a moment of complete clarity as Matt looked at him. He would do whatever it took to protect Kelly. He’d stay with him until the end. He made his decision. Tearing his eyes away from Kelly, he called out. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Cruz, you better go,” he said sombrely.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Joe stopped in his movements, still trying to do whatever he could to help his lieutenant. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“But what about you?” he replied immediately. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt only hesitated for a moment: not because he didn’t know what he was going to do, but because he knew Cruz would argue with him. They didn’t have time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hand me that hose. I’ll cover Severide with my body and we’ll make a stand right here.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He saw the look on Cruz’s face: the dismay, the refusal to accept Casey’s plan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What so you can both die?” he asked in horror. “To hell with that!” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt could see him looking around: desperate for something to try next, desperately seeking a new plan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly, Cruz announced, “Get ready to pull him out.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Casey shook his head. Whatever Cruz was thinking, it wouldn’t work. He needed to get out while he still could. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Cruz, just forget it. Go!” he ordered.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“No way! Get ready!” Cruz yelled back defiantly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He counted down and then gave it everything he had to lift the massive weight pinning Kelly down. Matt knew they only had one chance and desperately grabbed Kelly to start attempting to pull him out. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Cruz was groaning with the effort of his task. The building around them was creaking ominously. Matt was pulling with everything he could, gritting his teeth and straining every muscle. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And suddenly, Kelly was free. Matt stumbled backwards as the weight of Kelly landed awkwardly across his body as he finally managed to get him out from under the chimney. Cruz dropped the mass almost instantly and looked over at them, panting from the exertion and almost looking like he couldn’t believe it had worked. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">But they still weren’t in the clear. The building was going to go up in flames at any moment and they were still in the firing line. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt grabbed Kelly again, pushing him upright, and helped him towards Cruz, who grabbed his other arm and supported him out of the room. The fire had changed and Matt knew that they had seconds before the whole floor was filled with a fireball, but he didn’t stop moving. He pushed Kelly on, towards the stairs and down, supporting him with every step. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">When the explosion ripped through the house, they’d just made it to the ground floor. They all stumbled from the force of itat their backs and Matt scrabbled to keep Kelly upright. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, it’s okay. Keep going,” he urged as he put one foot in front of the other, pushing Kelly forward as he went. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly turned to him and gritted his teeth, but he kept going. For all he was stubborn, he’d do what Matt told him. It was like instinct. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Finally, they emerged from the house to see the faces of their crew, all horrified at what they thought they’d just lost. They rushed forward to help them as they supported Kelly down the steps. Matt tore off his helmet and mask to breathe the fresh air and watched as Kidd hugged Kelly and questioned if he was alright.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And Matt knew he wasn’t. He knew that physically, he didn’t seem in too bad shape for someone who’d just been trapped underneath a massive chimney, but there was a vacant look in Kelly’s eyes that told him everything he needed to know.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He heard Kelly reply, telling Boden that he was fine, heard the way his voice cracked on the words. And despite his protests, he knew that they were just words. Kelly wasn’t fine. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was like the whole crew knew. They knew what a close call it had been. If not for Cruz’s Herculean act of strength, they’d have lost Severide in that house. And they knew that their squad lieutenant was shaken by what had happened, not that he was likely to admit that, even to Matt. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">But Matt was shaken too. He watched the ambulance drive off and wondered what the hell had happened. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">***</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt had returned to the house with the rest of the crew. Kelly had been conscious and in one piece when he’d left the scene, so there was no reason for Matt to ride along with the ambulance. They’d been through so many scrapes in their time together that they’d quickly come to the realisation that they couldn’t panic and go into full concerned boyfriend mode as soon as one of them was hurt. They needed to remain professional, as hard as that may be at times, and if no-one else was fussing and rushing to the hospital to be at their bedside, neither could they. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t stop Matt worrying. It didn’t stop him checking his phone for an update from Kelly. It didn’t stop his heart racing every time there was no news from his boyfriend. But he stayed calm. He didn’t have much choice. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, the ambulance pulled back into the garage and Matt wandered out to ask Brett and Foster for news. He was surprised when Kelly stepped down, a little gingerly, from the ambulance but he didn’t react. Kelly wasn’t himself lately so he didn’t want to say the wrong thing and immediately have him on the defensive, which seemed to be his default setting at the moment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Things had been tough since Benny had died. Matt understood, or as much as he could. He was no stranger to family problems and strained relationships with parents and dealing with loss. He got it: he really did. He knew that Kelly’s relationship with his father had been challenging. He knew that there were things that Kelly wished he’d said or done differently. And he knew his boyfriend would always mourn his father and the relationship he wished he’d had with him. But he also knew that despite their differences and how they clashed, Kelly was more like Benny than he’d ever admit, and he’d loved his father, idolised him, wanted to make him proud. And Kelly had to come to terms with the fact that he was gone, snatched away before he was ready, and he clearly didn’t feel like he’d got the closure he needed. Maybe he never would have: maybe their relationship would always have been rocky. But now he’d never know and Kelly had to live with that for the rest of his life. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” he greeted Kelly with a nod as he walked across the floor towards him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly nodded back, but he didn’t smile or show any sign of engaging in conversation. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Sighing heavily, Matt followed him as he walked through the doors and headed down the corridor. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Are you okay?” he asked when they made it into the relative privacy of the locker room. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Fine,” Kelly replied bluntly. “Got the all clear.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t turn to face Matt as he fiddled about with something in his locker. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt clenched his jaw. “So...there’s nothing you want to talk about?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Kelly said as he slammed the door shut and turned around to face him. “What is there to say? It was a close call and I’m fine.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“So you keep saying,” Matt replied. “Pretty scary though. There’s close calls and then there are very close calls. If Cruz hadn’t...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly cut him off before he could continue. “What do you want me to say, Casey? It’s done. I’ll buy Cruz a beer at Molly’s next time we’re out.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt lifted an eyebrow at him: at his reaction and the fact that he’d called him by his last name, something they only reserved for when they were in the field, or when they were pissed at one another. He didn’t think he deserved Kelly’s irritation. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You scared me,” he snapped. “And you’ve come walking back in here like it’s nothing. You need to get your head sorted and stop pretending everything’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t be so dramatic,” Kelly replied angrily. He stared at Matt for a long moment. “I’m done talking about this,” he finally said, before he turned and stomped away, leaving Matt lost for words.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">***</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Thankfully, the rest of their shift had been quiet and Matt had headed home alone. He’d moved into Kelly’s loft apartment months ago and he thought of it as ‘their’ home, not just Kelly’s place anymore. They often travelled into work separately because one, or both, of them had other business to do before or after shift, and Matt was grateful that they’d taken their own cars that day. He didn’t think he could’ve faced the stony silence all the way home. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He’d kept his distance for the rest of the shift and it seemed that Kelly had avoided him too. He hadn’t wanted to have another heated discussion, especially not at work. So as soon as their shift was done, he’d grabbed his stuff and headed out. He hadn’t even stopped to check what Kelly’s plans were. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t expect Kelly to make an appearance any time soon, so was surprised that, not long after he’d got in, he heard Kelly’s key scraping in the lock and the door swung open.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t know if he could handle an argument and he wasn’t sure he wanted a strained evening of neither of them speaking to the other either. He wanted to help Kelly. He wanted him to open up and tell him what was going on in his head, but he knew that was asking a lot. Kelly wasn’t good at that stuff, and he knew he wasn’t either. But they’d got better at it over the years they’d been together. They’d been through so much that they’d figured it out - they’d worked out a way to communicate and how to listen to one another and how to support one another. But it felt like Kelly was determined to deal with losing his father all on his own. He’d pushed Matt away from the moment he’d heard the news. He’d cut himself off and put on a front (that Matt saw right through) and refused to let his boyfriend help him. They’d already argued about it before today and Matt just didn’t think he could do it all again tonight. He’d nearly lost Kelly on shift today: his nerves were already frayed and his temper felt short with it and he didn’t want to say something he’d regret because of his own tightly wound emotions. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hey,” Kelly said as he walked over to the kitchen where Matt was making himself a coffee. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was on the tip of Matt’s tongue to say, ‘Hey? Hey? That’s all you want to say to me after everything that’s happened today?’ but he held it in, bit his tongue and merely nodded in greeting.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He finished up with his drink and wandered into the living area, not saying anything to Kelly. He didn’t know what to say anymore. Maybe they were at a stalemate, with Kelly not wanting to talk and Matt not knowing what else he could say. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Flopping down onto the couch, he put his coffee on the table in front of him, leant his head back and squeezed his eyes closed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Is this the silent treatment? Are we not talking now?” Kelly asked and Matt could hear the underlying irritation in his tone. If he was looking for a fight, he was going the right way about it. But Matt wondered if this was Kelly’s way of deflecting from the real problem; if he’d decided that an argument was easier than actually talking. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Sighing heavily, he looked up at Kelly who was standing watching him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want me to say, Kelly?” he asked, echoing the words that Kelly had used at the firehouse after the call out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“So you’re just going to be passive aggressive about it instead?” Kelly asked snidely.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt shook his head in frustration. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You made it perfectly clear that we weren’t discussing it. You don’t want to talk to me about it. You don’t want to hear what I’ve got to say.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“But you’re dying to say it anyway,” Kelly bit back. “So go on - get it off your chest.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, do you know what? I will,” Matt snapped, finally having had enough. “You can’t expect me to just carry on like nothing happened today. You might be fine with brushing it off, but you could’ve died. And whatever is going through your head right now, and however you’re struggling with losing Benny, you can’t keep pretending you’re okay. Because you’re not. I don’t know what happened at that house today, but you haven’t been yourself since your dad died and you won’t let anyone help you. I get that you think you need to deal with this on your own and I get that you’re finding it tough, but I’m not going to stand by and just watch you get yourself killed because your head’s not in the game. I can’t and I won’t. Because it’s not fair on you or me, and not only that, but it’s not fair on the rest of your squad either because you put them in danger too today.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He drew in a deep breath and waited for Kelly to erupt. He knew his words were a bit of a low-blow, but Matt needed Kelly to know how serious it was. If the only way to get through to him was by pointing out the harsh truth, then he’d do it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly blinked at him in shock, but he didn’t start yelling, or storm out, like Matt had expected. He looked a little lost and Matt wanted to go to him and pull him close and tell him everything was going to be alright, but he stayed where he was, watching Kelly closely, wondering - not for the first time - what was going through his head. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I...uh...I talked to Foster at the hospital earlier,” Kelly said quietly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt’s eyes widened and he frowned at Kelly. Was that supposed to make him feel better? Wonderful: his boyfriend would rather talk to someone he’d known for a couple of months instead of the man he’d supposedly been in love with for years. Again he stopped himself making a remark that wouldn’t help the situation. The spike of jealousy disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. He was actually glad that Kelly had finally opened up to someone. And maybe talking to Foster, or someone not as close, was exactly what Kelly needed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Right,” he replied simply. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I...I don’t know what happened earlier. I don’t know why I didn’t move when the Chief told us to evacuate.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt felt like he was holding his breath waiting for Kelly to continue.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Foster said that losing a parent messes with your head.” He swallowed thickly, and Matt again felt the urge to go to him but he waited. He didn’t want to interrupt Kelly if he was finally opening up. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“And I guess I know that. I mean, I understand, but I just...I didn’t realise how much it was messing with mine. You’re right...I’ve been...all over the place. And I’ve tried to deal with everything on my own and I don’t think I’ve actually dealt with anything at all.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He looked defeated by the time he’d finished speaking and that lost look was back in his eyes. Matt didn’t wait any longer. He pushed himself up from the couch and went to him. He wrapped his arms around Kelly and marvelled at how easily he let himself be pulled close and held. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve done a great job of dealing with all the practical stuff that needed to be done, but there’s no shame in asking for help or needing someone to talk to. I’m here for you. Whenever you need me,” he said gently before he pressed a kiss to the side of Kelly’s head. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly nodded against his shoulder. “I’ve been a bit of dick lately,” he muttered.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt let out a soft laugh. “I’ll let you off. But I’m not going to let you get away with keeping everything locked inside your head all the time. I meant what I said - you scared me today. I’m not losing you because you were too proud to ask for help.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Carefully, he pushed Kelly backwards so he could look at his face. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t push me away. You don’t always have to be Lieutenant Kelly Severide with me, you know? You don’t need to put on a brave face all the time.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly nodded once. “Foster also said that I was lucky, that I had a great support system. That I had you and I should lean on you.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt smiled softly. “Foster sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry,” Kelly said immediately. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been. And I’m sorry for today. I...I put too many people in danger.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“It’s done now, okay? Just...just don’t let it get that bad again,” Matt reassured him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He pressed a quick kiss to Kelly’s lips and moved to go back to the couch, but Kelly grabbed his hand to stop him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“When I was trapped...did you tell Cruz that you’d stay with me? That you’d cover me with your body?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt winced a little. He had hoped that Kelly hadn’t heard him or that he’d been too out of it to remember. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He looked away guiltily and he felt Kelly’s hand tighten slightly around his own. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t do things like that,” he said firmly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt looked back at him and shook his head slightly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t...you can’t just throw your life away. You’d have died, Matt. You’d have died because of me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What did you think I was going to do? Did you think I could just walk out of there and leave you in that fire? Leave you to die?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“You can’t...” Kelly protested, but Matt interrupted him before he finish. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“What would you have done? If it was the other way round? Would you have been able to walk away?” he asked, but he already knew the answer. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Of course not,” Kelly replied immediately and Matt just sighed heavily and gave him a knowing look. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly mirrored his sigh and his shoulders slumped a little. “I just...I can’t bear the thought of losing you. And...it was my fault. If you’d been hurt...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Stop,” Matt said gently. “Don’t do that to yourself. But don’t ask me to ever walk away from you. You know I never could.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly gazed at him for a long moment. “Foster was right: I am lucky. You know I love you, right?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Matt smiled at him. If felt like the first time that they’d shared a moment not tinged by sadness in a long time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Kelly leant forward and pressed his face against Matt’s neck, breathing him in, and Matt wrapped his arms around him again as he sighed in contentment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too,” he replied softly. “Lean on me. I’ve got you.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Feedback would be absolutely amazing, please!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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